Experiences change us

It's really amazing how much experiences change a person.  I'm just now realizing how much I've been changed by a few recent experiences, namely the one where I was involved in a house fire and the other when I was harassed by two men.  Both of those really changed how I think and see things.  Because of the house fire and the intense fear I felt when it was thought that both my homestay parents were in the burning bedroom, I now have a great fear of fire and losing those close to me.  Because of the two men that had evil intentions toward me I am now afraid of men, darkness, and being alone.  Before both of those situations I lived my life with a certain amount of caution, but did not worry or think very much about danger or something bad happening.  I guess I was of the mind-set that, sure, those bad things happen, but they don't happen to me.  I definitely learned otherwise.  

After getting away from the men and a possibly very very bad situation, I never went out at night alone again while I was in Korea.  I also began sleeping out in the living area with my sister from that night on so I wouldn't have to sleep alone.  Even now I feel intense fear when I go out alone at night, even when I'm in the car driving.  I also am very sensitive to fire and any odd smells in the house.  I'm always trying to look out for those I love and I do my best to dissuade them from doing something that I think might harm them (such as lifting and moving heavy objects or climbing ladders).

I know there is a fine line between a healthy awareness of danger and being overly afraid.  I think two months ago I was blissfully and foolishly unaware of danger; now I've swung to the opposite end of the spectrum: being painfully aware of the evil and danger in the world.  I now need to work on finding a balance.  I'm not trusting God as I should if I am constantly afraid or worrying about possible perils.  I need to put my life and the lives of my loved ones in His hands.  But I must never forget to take wise and balanced precautions before doing something or going somewhere.  

In a way, I'm grateful for the experiences because by them I have grown.  I learned lessons and I now know that I can handle extreme hardships with God's strength and power.  I also can plainly see God's active hand of protection in my life.  I know that since God protected me and got me through those harrowing experiences, He can and will get me through anything else I may have to face.